When Did We Decide Everyone is the Enemy?

White men have privilege. White women have slightly less privilege. Asian men have almost as much and Asian women just a little less. Black men have more than black women, Hispanics less than both. Native American’s don’t even get rated.

No one argues with this “pyramid”. Even wealthy POC face discrimination on a fairly regular if not daily basis. Most people understand that, and many are working to try to find solutions. You know what isn’t a solution? Treating those people working for change as enemies, calling them names, telling them to “check their privilege” and saying you don’t need to “check your attitude.” Yes, actually you do. Somewhere along the line people have stopped communicating with each other and just started screaming and insulting. What happens when you do this is simple. No one listens, they get defensive and you create enemies where there didn’t exist any before or who might have been easily talked over to your viewpoint with reason instead of hate.

The battle of the sexes is now the battle of everyone against Caucasians. Where once women united in a fight for equal rights, women are now telling each other that we are not equal. That White women don’t get it, have never been oppressed, were never considered property, were never sold as slaves by their families, and whose virginity didn’t go to the highest bidder without them having any say at all. (In case you missed the sarcasm, that IS our history) The assumption is that if you are white you have never dealt with racism, never been discriminated against and don’t understand struggle. Where we are constantly told “You don’t know what we have been through, you can’t possibly understand it.” It is assumed that everyone else knows exactly what we have been through, and of course they can understand it because it doesn’t matter.

White males have privilege over all. Do you understand that that means that they NEVER hear the end of it? Everywhere they go, everywhere they look someone somewhere is telling them that they need to be less oblivious, be more sensitive, pay better attention, and change how they think. They are bombarded with the message that they are horrible evil people who shouldn’t exist, and just WAIT until POC are in the position of power, because then they will teach the whites a lesson. Guess history hasn’t taught anyone a damn thing has it? The slaves that were freed and chose to return to Africa, do you know what they did when they landed? They turned around and enslaved the indigenous population. Ask them how well that worked when they had the power. How many women and children were gunned down on a beach in an hour during the revolution. Power in any groups hands exclusively or close too is a bad thing. We need to stop looking for who can be on top and find ways to share.

When are we going to learn that how we treat each other matters. That we need to be colour blind. It is a bloody requirement if we ever hope to find a common ground. Colour blind doesn’t mean culture blind though. We should still embrace our history, our cultures and our differences. We just shouldn’t allow colour to be a difference that leads us to judge, form unfounded opinions or to hurt people out of callousness. Empathy needs to be a buzz word while apathy takes a very long hike. We are living in a world where individuals are becoming less and less concerned with anyone not them. This is a problem because as we become more apathetic to anyone else’s lives, we lose what makes us human. Apathy is a choice, choose to care.


Why Society Needs To Revise It’s Slang


“I was just RAPED!”
“Holy Sh&t did you see that? We got RAPED!”
“I am sooo going to rape that &*%^)$#”
“Hell yeah, I just raped him”

These are not cries for help, they are people celebrating, laughing and joking about getting their butts kicked in a video game or a sports team beating a rival. Rape, a word whose meaning is so horrible, that for generations it wasn’t even discussed. Now this word is being used as a joke and bandied around over VoIP channels, in games and around sports bars as if it means nothing. In an age where it seems so many are becoming desensitized to tragedy, sadness, horrific images and war I would guess that this shouldn’t surprise. However, every time I hear someone shout this I cringe and my stomach gets queasy. I can’t be alone in that feeling, or in the sense of frustration and outrage that a word that is meant to make us feel those emotions has been turned into a joke.

Rape is not a joke, the mental, physical and emotional anguish it leaves behind is not funny. This is not something that should be referred to so lightly, and it should never be referred to with laughter. The amount of violence our youth is exposed too on the internet, TV and in print is extreme. They are already immune to so much and accept that so many things are simply a part of life. This is tragic, but we should never just accept this and ignore the progression when we can take steps to stop it. This isn’t like changing the meaning of ‘gay’ to mean something more than happy, or about changing the meaning of the word ‘bad’ to mean good. This is about taking a word that stands for a horrific crime and reducing it to a casually used word. It also reduces the victims to something that isn’t a big deal.

To understand why this should bother everyone, let’s look at numbers. The average person playing video games is 37 years old. Women make up 42% of gamers. 1 in 5 women will be raped or sexually assaulted in her lifetime, usually before age 30. So, out of 100 gamers, 9 of them will be women who have been sexually assaulted in some way. That statistic ignores the male victims completely, but the numbers say 1 in 33 men report rape or attempted rape. so that means about 12 out of 100 gamers officially. I am sure we can all agree that most victims, particularly male do not report it. So the odds are in every raid in World of Warcraft, or Everquest 2, every match in Prime World or League of Legends, and every battle in Battlefield 4 at least 1-3 people will have experienced this horror. Which makes screaming about how you were just raped, or how you just raped someone else even more horrifying because you are making light of one of the worst events a human being can live through.

The definition of rape is
1 [reyp] Show IPA noun, verb, raped, rap·ing.
1. the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.
2. any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.

Let’s not try to redefine the word and make it less powerful, instead find a different word to describe getting trounced. Why not use:

trounce [ trownss ]
1. beat somebody or something decisively: to defeat an opponent or team convincingly
2. beat up somebody or something: to beat somebody or something severely
Synonyms: beat · thrash · rout · crush · overwhelm · slaughter · defeat

This works perfectly, says exactly what is meant and doesn’t take a violent criminal act and turn it into something being screamed in living rooms across the country. When I hear someone yell “I was raped!!” I want to know it is a call for help, the cry of a victim seeking justice, not the words of an unthinking person who doesn’t consider the harm they could be causing. With so much noise in this world drowning out cries for help, we shouldn’t be adding more noise and static to the mix.

This is what it should be about:

and this isn’t funny:



How About This Advice: Don’t Rape People.



“College Women:Stop Getting Drunk”, is the title of the latest bit of advice by Emily Toffe. Toffe is the advice columnist for Slate. I get that the lady has a college bound daughter who she wants to protect. I think any mother or father wants to give the best advice that they can. However, why don’t we try to avoid victim blaming while we give that advice? Yes, it is a fact that many rapes at college involve drinking, sometimes to excess. That is a fact that cannot be argued with, however not all college rapes involve alcohol and not all involve drinking to inebriation. Why don’t we start with some simple rules for men and women? (Yes, they are almost identical because they work both ways)

Rules for Women:

1) go to parties in groups, never leave someone behind when you leave the party.
2) If your friend has been drinking he/she goes home with you, NOT a stranger.
3) If you are having a great time and your friend wants to leave, you take him/her home. You do NOT let him/her leave with someone you don’t know well and trust with his/her life. (you just might be)
4) Never ever say ‘no’ if you mean ‘yes’. It makes the times you say ‘no’ harder to respect or believe. No means NO, always.
5) When walking back to your dorm, take the well lit path even if it is longer and carry a whistle or horn.
6) Listen to your gut. That queasy feeling? Usually it isn’t butterflies it is a primal instinct screaming to you to run for survival. Worst case? You look a bit odd and you can blame it on claustrophobia.
7) If someone says ‘Don’t trust him’, don’t assume they are jealous. Find out why they say that.
8) Be that person your friends can come too. Listen, never judge and never blame.
9) Do not ever have sex with someone who is under the influence of anything. (long established relationships obviously this is more flexible)

Rules for men:
1) go to parties in groups, never leave someone behind when you leave the party.
2) If your friend has been drinking he/she goes home with you, NOT a stranger.
3) If you are having a great time and your friend wants to leave, you take her home. You do NOT let her leave with someone you don’t know well and trust with her life.
4) Never assume someone is playing coy when they say no. No means NO, always.
5) When walking back to your dorm, take the well lit path even if it is longer and carry a whistle or horn.
6) Listen to your gut. That queasy feeling? Usually, it isn’t butterflies, it is a primal instinct screaming to you to run for survival. Worst case? You look a bit odd and you can blame it on claustrophobia.
7) Do not fall into the mob mentality that if everyone else is doing it it is OK. Rape is never OK.
8) Be that person your friends can come too. Listen, never judge and never blame.
9) Do not ever have sex with someone who is under the influence of anything. (long established relationships obviously this is more flexible)

Things that do NOT matter when it comes to rape:

1) What you are wearing. Rapists attack people fully covered as often as they do those in short skirts.
2) Your sex. Men get raped too.
3) That you were not beaten. Not everyone who is raped is beaten. A lack of bruises can simply signify fear so strong you were paralyzed,(or a strong desire to survive) it does not signify consent.
4) That you didn’t say no. There are drugs that remove your ability to resist and even speak. This is why it is so imperative that you go out with people you trust to watch out for you.
5) You were flirting. Flirting is innocent, it does not mean you were asking for it.
6) You went to his dorm room/home. This does not imply sexual consent. If it did, many straight men would be having anal sex right now.
7) You ignored your gut instinct that said something was wrong. Many people do and don’t get raped.

Remember, you can say no at any point. Anyone can be raped. Anyone can be drugged. Any stranger could be a rapist. You must protect yourself as best as you can, but if you get raped, remember that you are not alone. There are many out there who will help you, so don’t let anyone tell you you don’t deserve help.
If you are raped though, remember something else. While it is not your fault, often there is something you could do differently so it doesn’t happen to you again. That might sound like victim blaming, but it isn’t. Simply put, when we examine the events that led to the rape, we can usually spot a place where we could have made a choice that would have led to a better ending. Knowing that, seeing what it was, those things will help you keep from being a victim again.

I know someone who was raped at a college party. Well, I know many, but this one young lady drank heavily and then trusted the wrong person to keep her safe. He boyfriend trusted this person because they were frat brothers. The way that this could have been prevented is simple enough. The couple in question should have had an agreement that if one gets too drunk, the other gets them home safely and does not rely on someone else to do it. Was it either of their fault? NO, but in the future, they know how to avoid it happening again if they choose to drink at a party.

You can be perfectly responsible about drinking and still end up in a bad spot. When I was 22 years old I ordered a drink at a club. I never let the drink out of my sight except for a 2 second situation where a man walked between me and my drink. He did not pause, obviously he had done this many times before. It didn’t occur to me to be worried and I finished my drink. Almost immediately I started feeling very odd. I flagged down a friend I had come with and she immediately started getting the group together to leave. In the 5 minutes it took her to get them, I could no longer speak and was barely able to stand. The man who had waled between me and my drink a few minutes before started bouncing around saying “I will take her home, we are old friends. You guys stay, have fun, enjoy yourselves.” This man, Corey was his name, had introduced himself to me that evening, I had never seen him before. My friends kept blowing him off because they did not know him, he was not part of the pact and I was going home with them. When they got me downstairs the doorman (a good friend of mine) was stunned and asked how much I had had to drink. When he heard just the one drink he tried to give me bottled water to drink, but I couldn’t even hold the water. I had always thought being raped couldn’t get scarier or more scarring to your psyche. That night I discovered a whole new level to it. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be raped being a prisoner in your own body, unable to fight, to scream to do anything but watch. Thankfully, I will never know. I was cautious, I wasn’t drunk, I was alert and I still got drugged at a club where I was well known and liked. I am thankful every day for those friends, our pact and that I could and did trust them with my life that night. (He should be thankful wherever he is that he was gone when my friends went back)

When you are tempted to blame the victim, why don’t you reverse the wording and put down the rapist.
“Why couldn’t they take NO for an answer?” “Why are they so lacking in self control that a short skirt, low cut top or tight pants sends them into a sexual frenzy?”
“Why is it more important to get laid than care about a fellow human being?”
“Why do we allow young men to act in such a way that turns sex into a numbers game where the one with the highest number wins?”
“Why do we as a society blame the victim and absolve the attacker?”

How about this simple advice. Instead of “Don’t get raped” How about “Don’t Rape People”


Stop the Insanity

I am so sick and tired of constantly seeing things about how ‘this company doesn’t support such and such group. We should boycott and show how this isn’t acceptable.’ Lets look at this like intelligent human beings, instead of children fighting over space on the swing set ok?

If I own a store, I get to choose what goods I carry. I cannot refuse to sell something to anyone based on their colour, religion, sexual orientation etc. However I can refuse to carry goods I do not want to carry. You don’t get to tell a vegetarian restaurant that they must cook you beef or they are discriminating, You don’t get to tell a bakery they must put a homosexual cake topper on the cake (you can provide that yourself), you don’t get to tell a church they must have a service for your faith, you don’t get to tell a store that they must carry things that cater to your religion. You certainly don’t get to tell someone that they must advertise embracing your particular group. Let me reiterate this. YOU do not get to decide how someone else spends their money for their business. This is not anti-freedom of religion. It is not being bigots, mean or discriminating. However trying to force your way of life down everyone else’ throats IS.

If you are LGBTQ that is great. I am straight, it doesn’t matter. If I choose to sell rainbows and support the cause? Yay me, if I choose not too, it just means I disagree. It doesn’t mean I hate. If you are Jewish? Yay you. I am an Atheist, nice to meet you. I don’t have to sell things for Chanukah or Christmas if I don’t wish too. That isn’t discriminating, that is me providing the goods I want to provide. Just as you don’t have to sell Pentacles, big red A’s or inverted crosses if that is something you don’t wish to provide.

A man’s clothing store doesn’t have to start selling skirts because I want them too, a car dealership doesn’t have to sell motorcycles, a hobby store doesn’t have to provide things for every religion. It is THEIR choice what they want to sell. That is like saying a Pagan bookstore is discriminating by not carrying the bible or that Barnes and Nobles is a bunch of bigots because they won’t carry the Satanic version.

Tolerance and acceptance should be for everyone. It should not just be for one group and the rest need to fall in line. You do not get to choose who you serve or who you sell to in business because discrimination is illegal. You DO get to choose WHAT you sell and who you use to advertise it. Just as the customers will go where they wish to find what they want. If you try to force people to abide by your personal beliefs, you are no better than the intolerant bigots you are trying to make everyone else look like.

To break this down simply. Things that are not a violation of your rights:
1) Selling things that have no meaning to you
2) Selling things that have meaning to me
3) Selling things that are only about straight people
4) Selling things that are only about LGBTQ people
5) Selling things that are not about your religion, or are only about mine
6) Advertising using whatever models/storyline I wish
7) Selling things to promote a personal agenda, whatever that agenda is

Things that ARE a violation of your rights:
1) Refusing to sell you something I already sell because of your sexual orientation.
2) Refusing to sell you something I already sell because of your religion
3) Refusing to sell you something I already sell because of your skin colour.
4) Refusing to sell you something I already sell because of your gender.

Is this easy enough guys? National/International boycotts are for serious issues like avoiding giving money to companies that are promoting hate, not tantrums because your feelings got bruised. Stop trying to force everyone to be exactly like you. Embrace the differences and spend your money where you wish, but stop trying to punish business and shaming people for not being exactly like you.


What a Government ‘Shut Down’ Means for Americans

I have been asked by a couple people what a ‘government shutdown’ means for us in America. If anyone doesn’t understand why, the GOP is threatening a Government shutdown if the Affordable Care Act is not defunded/canceled immediately. What this means for us in October if they follow through on this threat:

What causes a “Shut Down” (more aptly called a slow down): Under the Constitution, Congress must pass laws to spend money. If Congress can’t agree on a spending bill or the President vetoes it,  the government does not have the legal authority to spend money.

Airportswould continue functioning as would Air traffic control, safety personnel and the Federal Inspectors would keep working as well.

SNAPS – Was just cut by 40 billion, but would continue current payouts to people registered for now. This is a program that has already been funded for the reasonable future. New enrollees would be in trouble.

WIC/Head Start programs – WIC would continue same as SNAPS. Head start programs for at-risk (pregnant) mothers and toddlers would be in immediate trouble and definitely neither will be accepting new people for the foreseeable future.

$150,000 a DAY – what the ‘shut down’ will cost taxpayers.

National Parks and Monuments – Will be closed until further notice. This includes places like the Statue of Liberty, Yellowstone, and the Smithsonian. (Firefighters would still be funded in case of a disaster, but park rangers/security won’t be)

Social Security/Veterans Benefits – Already enrolled people would be paid. Any new enrollees or petitioners will have to wait longer than normal, but would not be shutdown completely due to funding.

International Travel – Embassies will still operate. Overseas travel/VISA issuing will continue. Passports will be issued as long as the funds currently in place last.

Unemployment/Medicare – same situation as Social Security. People currently getting benefits are ok, any one new in need of them will have to wait.

Federal Courts – funded for about 10 days. After 10 days non-essential employees will be temporarily ‘sent home’.

Prisons and Criminal Courts – the 116 federally funded prisons will keep functioning.

Local Government offices – (like the DMV/Tax Collectors etc) will continue, Federal Tax Audits will be suspended.

Health/Food Safety – Few new outbreaks would be investigated or even noticed. The FDA and CDC would only act on severe health risks due to reduced manpower.

Military – would continue , but the military personnel would very likely see a delay in their paychecks until the shut down was over.

Work Safety – Federal inspections would cease except in cases of imminent danger.

Federally Backed Loans – would stop for the time being.

FHA/VA Mortgage loans – would continue as they are funded yearly.

How many people will be out of work during the shut down? – between 800k and 1.1 million would not be working. Basically 59% of Government employees would continue working during a shut down.

Would Congress continue to be paid during a shutdown? – yes, the 27th Amendment that prevents them from being able to give themselves raises, also protects them from not getting paid. The President will continue being paid as well.

Longest Shut Down (in our history) – was 21 days in 1995, most, of 17, only lasted 24 hours to 3 days.

When is this most likely to happenOctober 1

What it boils down too is the people causing the shutdown (the GOP/Republicans, basically holding the government hostage to get their way ….oops there goes impartiality again) get paid and get a free vacation on top of all the time they get paid to not work. About half the Federal Employees will be paid, and about half of the employees will be sent home and likely not receive back pay..causing a lot of issues for people on a strict budget.
Hope this helps!!

Sources -
MSN News

ABC News



It is cold,dark and lonely
tossed around at its mercy
nothing to steady me
I breathe and prepare
all so important
my mind goes blank
horror becomes acceptance
numbness sets in
a blanket settles in my mind
distancing me from the truth
shielding me from madness
chaos reigns supreme
something brushes against me
all I see is a tint of rust
somewhere a child cries
no for the dead do not speak
tears I cannot shed
screams lodged in my throat
people shout and search
they are everywhere
yet I am alone
the water is warm
yet I am cold
these truths become memories
memories become shadows
shadows that come out at rest
nightmares that haunt
shades that stalk silently
there is no escape


What I Didn’t Say

When I logged into my Facebook page and saw your friends request I didn’t know who you were. I went to your page to see if I knew you and my heart stopped. You were the “Cara” of “Cara and Matt” who adopted my daughter. 16 years ago to the day before your request. 15 years since you sent me that letter that shredded my heart.

I was terrified of alienating you so I simply said hello. You removed me from friends, asked if you knew me and then claimed you had no idea how the friends request got sent. The thing is, I never knew your last name and we have no friends in common. You couldn’t have added me by accident, you had to look. I picked you out of many couples after meeting you. I invited you into the delivery room and let you cut the cord, so you could be a part of that day. I sat in waiting rooms at free clinics for appointments to save you as much money as I could. I signed the papers the day she was born so I wouldn’t change my mind. I knew what was best for my daughter, and I was not it. Not then. I sent her home with you 3 days later when I left the hospital. I had three days of her sleeping snuggled up to my chest with me trying to stay awake to milk every second of time. I loved her so very much and letting her go almost killed me.

The day I met you I explained that I would have a hard time with this, but I knew I wasn’t ready to be a mom. I told you that the only way I could let her go was if you and your husband promised to send pictures monthly for the first year and then a video with a note once a year after that. I didn’t want to have a fully open adoption, I knew I couldn’t handle that. You agreed and said you could understand that completely.

You reminded me of my Aunt Lynne, your husband reminded me a lot of my dad. This was the couple for my daughter. I knew it instantly and the birth father agreed. The day they put her in my arms in the recovery room I wanted to keep her, I wanted to grab her and run so far away that no one would ever find us. I didn’t do that because nothing had changed, I was still not ready to be a good mother. Then when Rebecca turned a year old you sent me a letter saying you never agreed to send pictures and if I had a problem with that I could write to your lawyer and explain why I felt I deserved them. Why I DESERVED pictures? I gave you my daughter. The most precious thing I have ever had, the best thing I have ever created and the most selfless act I have ever committed. When I read that letter I fell apart. I locked up everything I had from the adoption except one photo. That photo traveled with me to war zones, to about 30 countries and through about 15 states.

That photo had to last me 15 years because you were selfish and cruel back then. You had gotten what you wanted and you no longer cared about what I had sacrificed. I was willing to let that go when I said hello.

I didn’t say how hurt and angry I was for years, I didn’t blurt out the hundreds of questions I had fearing I would scare you off. What is her favorite colour, band, music, movie, nail polish? Does she like make-up? Does she like boys? Does she like girls? Has she fallen in love? Has she had her heart broken? (what is his/her name .. I will kill them for you) What happened to her adoptive dad? Was she precocious like me or was she a good child? What is her favorite subject in school? Does she play tennis? Swim? a musical instrument? Does she like to read? Can she sing? Dance? Draw? Is she creative? Does she like animals? Does she volunteer?…does she ever wonder about me? Does she know that my twin sister had a daughter the day after I had her? Has she ever asked if I loved her?

She is beautiful. She has my eyes and my smile and her fathers nose. She radiates happiness and is obviously healthy. For that I thank you. For her sake I made a good choice in picking you. Knowing that settled some of the demons that have haunted me, because there is always that question of ‘Were they good to her’. So knowing she is healthy and happy was a gift, having a picture of her that is recent that I snagged off your Facebook as soon as I accepted the friends request is another gift.

Even when you said you never contacted me and you had no idea how the friends request was sent I was understanding. I get how scary this had to be for you. It was just as much for me. I promised you 16 years ago I would never try to contact her (until she was 18) and that it would be up to you and her together to decide when that time was right. I reminded you of that promise when you asked me not to contact her now. I simply begged you to not close that method of communication. To leave that door of Facebook messaging between you and I open. I wanted to beg, to scream how unfair this was, but I stayed calm and didn’t press you. I was terrified of scaring you away and losing that small window into her life.

Your response after everything, after the door you opened, the grief you awoke again inside of me, the turmoil you threw my life into and the desperate desire to have that tenuous connection.. your response was to block me completely.

I didn’t reach out, you did. I didn’t break my word to you all those years ago, you did. I didn’t break my word anytime over those 16 years by looking for you or trying to find Rebecca. I kept my word, and kept my space. After all of this you treated me like I was the problem.

I was willing to forgive what you did 15 years ago. I figured it must have been out of fear, but now I know the truth. You might have been a wonderful mother to Rebecca. She looks beautiful, happy and healthy in the pictures I saw for a second before you blocked me. However, you are a horrible example of a human being completely lacking in compassion or care for the effects of your actions on others. Cara, I will not forget this and I will have to try very hard to try to forgive you. I will be civil to you when Rebecca turns 18 because I am sure that is what she would want if she allows me to be a part of her life. Know though, that us never being able to be friends and me never being willing to be more than civil to you was brought on by you. By your abuse of a system that allowed you to lie to and mislead a young woman who just desperately wanted to be a shadow on the wall once a year in the life of a child she loved enough to give up to a family better suited to caring for her. You are why I am so adamantly pro-choice Cara. I tell people that no one should be told they must choose the hell I chose unknowingly.

I am glad you can go back into your little world having slammed that door shut without a care in the damn world as to what you have done to mine. My heart aches, I can’t concentrate on anything and sleeping has gone out the window. I am exhausted but in my dreams I remember those three days in the hospital. I had locked all this up so tightly Cara, to keep my sanity and YOU opened that lock. If there is any justice in this world, one day someone will make you feel as sad, confused and helpless as you have made me feel. Karma my dear Cara, is a bitch.


I am tired of the race blame game

Consider the following if you will, a man claiming to be protecting his neighborhood notifies police about an unarmed 17-year-old boy he thinks is causing trouble and minutes later shoots him dead, sparking debate about guns and self-defense…sound familiar? It should. However, I bet it sounds familiar because of Trayvon Martin and that you have never heard the name Christopher Cervini.

Roderick Scott is black and was acquitted of killing a white teenager that never touched him (testimony conflicts as to whether or not Christopher lunged for him). George Zimmerman is a white Hispanic who killed a black teenager that was pounding his head into the sidewalk was then acquitted and the country is protesting. Obama, Sharpton, Oprah, Jackson and Holder should use their position to tell them that the jury has spoken but instead they are making things worse with all their press conferences. The screams of “White privilege” echo even from Caucasians, most of whom have probably never spent a day outside of their comfy neighborhoods and now feel guilty over that fact. (Glad they show compassion, but come on people this just makes the racial divide worse)

I am sick of seeing ‘if Trayvon had been white’ .. if Trayvon had been white this would have faded into the background and been left at ‘not guilty’. I am TIRED of everyone turning this into a race game. Trayvon acted out of fear, and probably anger . .but that does not excuse physically attacking someone when he could have just gone inside (he was mere steps from the house where he was staying). Should George have followed him? stayed so close? ignored the dispatcher? No, No and NO. However, none of those things were illegal. I have no doubt that had he stayed further back, stayed at home when told too, and/or not made a kid feel threatened that this wouldn’t have happened. However, he did .. it did .. and a child is dead because the child let his anger overrule common decency.

Roderick has the build of a football player, even if (and this is disputed by an unreliable witness) Christopher DID lunge at him, there is no way Roderick was actually in danger from a drunk unarmed kid (to be completely fair he couldn’t be positive that Christopher was unarmed).  He walked outside holding his weapon turning a simple case of rifling through unlocked cars into an armed conflict. The common thought is that if Christopher did lunge, he was trying to give his brother time to get away. Unlike George, who only shot once, Roderick shot twice. Very simply in one a man thought he might be in danger, the other man most definitely was. BOTH of these fall within the ‘self defense’ category. Do I think both men made mistakes that ultimately led to the deaths of two kids who 20 years ago would have been escorted home by the ear and left with parents to tan their hides if the parents felt it was deserved? yep. Do I think that either of these kids is more important than the other because of the colour of their skin? No I don’t ..and neither should you.

“If Trayvon was white” well, in this case he was ..and he didn’t touch the man who shot him, but he was committing a crime and gave the man cause to feel the need to defend himself. So instead of focusing on the men who shot in self-defense, why don’t we start teaching our kids that instigating violence is not the answer to a problem.

Now I am sure that I will be called racist for refusing to play the ‘race blame game’ and an elitist because of the colour of my skin..but of course that is ok, because only people with my skin colour are racist….right?


Inconvenient Truths

To all of those who want to quote the bible to ‘prove’ homosexuality is wrong (Leviticus 18:22 “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination?) By all means, let’s quote the bible.

That curved haircut framing your face? Leviticus 19:27 reads “You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard.”

Sunday Brunch better not have bacon and say buh-bye to football….: Leviticus 11:8, “You shall not eat of their flesh nor touch their carcasses; they are unclean to you.” (referencing pigs)

(don’t read that horoscope or fortune cookie) Leviticus 19:31 reads “Do not turn to mediums or spiritists; do not seek them out to be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God.”

That poly cotton blend you have on? uh-oh Leviticus 19:19 reads, “You are to keep My statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together.”

Love shrimp? clams? lobster or crab? too bad: Leviticus 11:10 reads, “But whatever is in the seas and in the rivers that does not have fins and scales among all the teeming life of the water, and among all the living creatures that are in the water, they are detestable things to you.” (you can however eat crickets .. I hear the pet stores sell a dozen for a buck)

your gold wedding ring? grandma’s pearls? LOVE your Prada Backpack? how about those nifty braids….oops…..: 1 Timothy 2:9 “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.”

Did you divorce that abusive scumbag? That money hungry wench? simply outgrow each other? Welcome to singlehood for life…..Mark 10:11-12, “And He said to them, ‘Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.’

Should I go on? Or can we agree that you probably don’t follow everything the bible says, you just pull it out when it is convenient for you to point fingers at others.

I will now close with a final quote that is often forgotten until convenient. Matthew 7:1-6 Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again

(I wrote this about 2 years ago .. kind of sad that it still applies)



Why The US Needs to Stop and Think

LGBT. Four letters that engender fear and hate in many people, and hope and love in just as many others. We live in a world divided by so many things; religion, sexuality, ‘race’, and social status, just to name a few.

Everywhere I turn these days there are signs of that division. Facebook is full of pages about ‘hate’, and posts encouraging people to stand up for what they believe in. The news is full of commentary on Russia and its leader Putin, as well as stories about the US and our leader Obama. For a moment it is easy to forget that the story is NOT about President Putin or President Obama, or the United States versus Russia. The story is about people that are hurting and being hurt for simply being themselves. Even President Obama forgets that it doesn’t matter what he thinks when it comes to political relationships. What matters is how he handles those relationships. It is one thing to take a stance on what you believe in, but you do not try to force those beliefs down another world leaders throat.

Does anyone remember being a kid and being told, “You can’t do that, I won’t let you, over my dead body!”? I remember it, and to this day ultimatums are faced by me with contempt and a refusal to reason at all. I will not take an ultimatum, I will listen to your thoughts, and respect your opinions when well stated and polite. I will consider your points when they are stated in such a way that you have given me a choice without trying to control me. I am not a leader in my country or even in my town, but pride is still pride. You should never go to a leader of another country and say publicly, “Do what I want or we have nothing to talk about.”. All it does is engender bad faith and a declining public relationship. What happened to diplomacy? We no longer treat people of opposing ideals as if they are intelligent human beings, instead we treat them like children to be schooled with ultimatums and threats. I do not agree with President Putin’s stance, I think such a stance is shortsighted, bigoted, inhumane and ignorant. I can say this, I am not a leader.

As a world leader all President Obama has accomplished by cancelling meetings and talking publicly about how reprehensible President Putin and the new laws in Russia are, is create a situation where a world leader is going to plant his feet and refuse to budge because he does not want to cave to ultimatums. That President Obama stands for the rights of the LGBT community is admirable, but his way of taking that stand lacked diplomacy and forethought in my opinion. President Obama not too long ago stood actively AGAINST LGBT rights and marriage. His wife changed his mind, I wonder how she went about it? Do you think the First Lady Michelle Obama yelled, insulted and threw around ultimatums? I don’t think so, I find it far more likely that she used her strength in debate, her soft voice and many intelligent examples of why this is a good thing to bring him around to her point of view. While her tactics might not work on Putin, I can almost guarantee President Obama’s won’t. He should have gone to this meeting and discussed his concerns on all these issues with President Putin. He should have explained “I had some issues myself with this until a few things changed my mind.” ANYTHING but throwing down the gauntlet and drawing a metaphorical line in the sand. That just causes further damage for the LBTG community in Russia. They are voting soon on a law to allow the public flogging of anyone who is gay, in Russia, by the military. Do you think that this hard ass stance has helped that vote to be defeated? Probably not.

Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that soft words and begging will work here. I am saying that without meaningful discourse it is unlikely anything will. President Putin has found a scapegoat for his countries ‘moral decline’ and financial issues just as many have tried to do here in the United States. It is eerily reminiscent of the early days of Hitler’s reign. This reason more than any means that maybe we should try something new instead of relying on the ‘big stick’ method. We might have no choice down the road to use it, but let us hope that reason still has a chance to win out against ignorance and hate.

The United States was founded with the agreement that no one religion would rule our Nation, this is tricky, and we struggle a lot every day to find common ground. However, because of that basic fact we have been able to stop many laws from being passed and revoking ones that were that would have led us down the path Russia is now on. Russia was not founded under those beliefs, instead it is a country with almost no Pagan base. Pagan for those of you unsure of the definition, is commonly defined as any religion not Christian, Muslim, or Judaic. This means that not only do we have to address the fear created by things that are different, we also have to address the religious aspect to homosexuality that has been indoctrinated in the masses.

The United States is a great country, but we fail horribly internationally in our dealings. One of the main reasons I heard from people while I was overseas was that we act superior. I cannot argue with that. We do not address issues on an international level with “We have been there and done this, it doesn’t work because in the end….” or “In our recent past we did exactly what you are doing, and we came to realize we were wrong because of……”. We act like we have never made these mistakes and simply publicly condemn other countries for making them.

We do not rule this world, and if we don’t stop acting like we do we will face some very harsh realities as the world turns against us. They took it for a while because we were financially strong and had a strong military we didn’t hesitate to use. Times have changed, the US isn’t the powerhouse it used to be, the rest of the world has caught up, surpassed or is right behind us. We tend to forget, Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it fell almost that fast.